Pokeballs

Pokemon Go - It's just not cricket
Pokémon Go players are a ‘bunch of idiots who need to get a life.’ 

That’s the view of one veteran of the local cricket scene who wishes to remain anonymous for fear of being captured by an Avatar.

His views came to light after a game of cricket was nearly cancelled due to half his team playing the latest craze to sweep across the globe in which people with mobile phones walk into traffic, lampposts, graveyards and people in the hope of catching cartoons.

For the uninitiated, Pokémon Go is a game whereby a player travels around catching creatures such as Fairies, Ghosts, Bugs and other such made up characters who show up in unexpected places such as schools, changing rooms, pub gardens and ponds.

If a player has the game open on their phone, they throw a ball at the said Pokémon in the hope of catching it.

It’s like a mobile phone version of skittles but instead of hitting over skittles you catch characters instead.

The veteran hasn’t been tempted to play however and fears the future of the game of cricket could be a jeopardy if people continue to be fixated by an animation on a screen.

“What’s the world coming to?” he asked. “Every week we’re struggling to put a team out as people would rather go and chase a fucking cartoon around the place. What’s wrong with chasing a ball for fucks sake? And I’m not talking about a football either, I’m talking about 5 ½oz of leather and cork, something that sound magnificent when it finds the middle of a bat or the middle of the stumps.

“Honestly, I don’t know what the world is coming to. All I see is people with their heads in their fucking phones, flicking their fingers up the screen as they try and snare a colourful children’s toy which isn’t even real.

“I’ve seen adults do it for fuck’s sake. It’s a nonsense.

“If people want to flick something, why not flick a cricket ball between your fingers and deliver it to a bamboozled batsman?

“’I’ve heard these bullshit excuses that Pokémon Go is getting people out and about, well funny that, so does cricket. It’s got me all over Wales and even abroad. I’ve seen some beautiful places through cricket and made friends too.

“The knobs playing this Pokémon shit don’t. How can you when you’re looking at a phone? That’s all you see is a screen.”

The veteran went on to say that he thinks Haverfordwest have the edge in this weekend’s Harrison-Allen final although acknowledged that Cresselly’s batsmen are a formidable unit.

“I think the Town will win it over two innings, they’re just too strong all-round. Cresselly have a wonderful batting line-up, they have three or four superb batsmen but their bowling isn’t as strong as Haverfordwest’s and so I’ll have to go with them although I doubt anyone will go and watch it as they’ll all be playing fucking Pokémon.”

Team of the week


  1. Roger lewis (Stackopole 2nds) 135 not out v Neyland 3rds
  2. Mark Meyrick (Cresselly 3rds) 103 not out v Tish 2nds
  3. Ceri Brace (Carew 2nds) 99 v Whitland 2nds (he was run out on the last ball of the innings) 
  4. Yannick Parker (Saundersfoot 2nds) 96 v Hundleton 
  5. Ashley Sutton (Neyland) 95 v Llanrhian
  6. Iwan Izzard (Cresselly) 94 v Lawrenny
  7. Dai Davies (Haverfordwest) 83 not out v Tish
  8. Ollie Gamble (Kilgetty 2nds) 5-5 v Llangwm
  9. Rob Scourfield (Carew 2nds) 5-17 and 62 v Whitland 2nds
  10. Steve James (Johnston 2nds) 4-9 and 42 not out v Pembroke 2nds
  11. Tom Davies (Carew) 4-23 and 21 v Narberth 
Noticeable mention for Saundersfoot's Neil Powling who claimed a hat-trick v Herbie!



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