In praise of shit bowling

We’ve all been there, spent a while at the crease, bogged down by the accuracy of the opposition attack, unable to get the ball off the square, the run rate creeps up, the pressure mounts and every ball you face is a countdown to when the pressure can be released through the lesser bowlers.

They come on, your eyes light up and before you know it, the lesser bowler has ripped through your team following an immense collapse.

Since the first ball was bowled in Hambledon all those years ago, shit has always taken wickets. A gentle loosner wide on the off side guided straight to point, a stray ball on the leg side snapped up by the keeper and a hand grenade launched near vertical by an over eager batsman hell bent on clearing the ropes for a maximum. Different balls with the same result, the batsman goes straight back into the hutch.

Shit takes wickets. It’s as simple as that.

Consider then the idea that shit bowling is good.

Take the double part timer, a part timer to the part timer if you will. He who never bowls is called into action cause no-one else can play and the only ball he can deliver is lobbed up from the crease and is perceived as being utter dross. For those watching from the sidelines it is, but that lobbed pie is anything but. It is in fact a genius delivery and puts more fear into a batsman than a 90 mph thunderbolt.

While fear may paralyse you when standing 22 yards from Brett Lee, the double part-timer paralyses you through fear of failure, the embarrassment of being dismissed by such rubbish ensuring you don’t leave your crease in case you are stumped or caught on the boundary while going for the big yahoo.

The slowness of the delivery is as effective as speed as the batsman is forced to generate velocity on the ball. This forces him into making a mistake and is he’s snappled by eager fielders.

The very fact that the ball is lobbed up is brilliance in itself. Former England coach Duncan Fletcher was a big advocate of spinners getting the ball above the eyeline as it means the batsman struggles with the trajectory of the ball and shit bowlers are naturals at this. They are incapable of sending the ball down with any pace and the disjointed, awkward actions they possess is another feather in their cap as batsman are discombobulated before the ball is sent down.

We’ve had some big scores in the county this year; innings’ of 150 are becoming the norm, the fear is that standards have dropped especially among bowlers but it couldn't be further from the truth. The bowling is decent enough it’s just that fewer Shit bowlers are being given their chance.

Team of the week

1. John Venables (Camrose and Spittal) 145 and 2-63 not out v Whitland 2nds
2. Brennan Lay (Hook 2nds) 116 v Narberth 2nds
3. Scott Arthur (Cresselly 2nds) 108 v Hook
4. Paul Webb (Whitland 2nds) 97 not out v Camrose and Spittal
5. Andrew Williams (St Ishmaels) 93 v Neyland
6. Nick Koomen (Neyland) 91 not out v St Ishmaels
7. Kyle Quartermaine (Narberth) 88 and 1-18 v Kilgetty
8. Simon Holiday (Haverfordwest) 67 not out and 3-26 v Lawrenny
9. Jordan Howell (Narberth) 5-35 and 30 v Kilgetty
10. Toby Poole (Kilgetty) 4-59 and 55 v Narberth
11. Barry Phillips (Lawrenny 2nds) 4-23 and 40 v Crymych